


Kakashi Goes on Vacation... but Is It Really a Vacation?

by liviemomo



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Naruto, どうぶつの森 | Animal Crossing Series
Genre: ACNH fanfic crossover with the two mentioned above, Caps lock yelling, Edward Elric Swears, Edward Elric is short if that wasn't hammered home already, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Island getaway courtesy of some tanuki, Not Beta Read, Retired Kakashi Hatake, Timmy and Tommy show up for a second, Tom Nook is a mysterious tanuki, sorry if grammar is bad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26087461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liviemomo/pseuds/liviemomo
Summary: Now that he’s completed his time as the sixth Hokage, Kakashi feels like he deserves a well earned vacation after passing on the mantle to Naruto. Who better to contact about a vacation getaway than the elusive tanuki god of the east: Tom Nook.This was written as a joke at like 11:30 at night in a texting conversation, and is also the first fanfiction I have ever written and published..... and it just happens to be a crackfic.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Kakashi Goes on Vacation... but Is It Really a Vacation?

Now that he’s completed his time as the sixth Hokage, Kakashi feels like he deserves a well earned vacation after passing on the mantle to Naruto. Who better to contact about a vacation getaway than the elusive tanuki god of the east: Tom Nook.

After hearing rumours and doing some digging Kakashi finds a way to summon the elusive tanuki god and begins to make preparations in hope that his request will be granted. Making an overnight bag of essentials and packing away some of the old training bells he used on his younger students, he prepares a small offering for the well known insatiable tanuki. Once ready he goes to the gate of the village. He summons Pakkun he gives him his offering and request and directs him to the large forest to the east of Konaha. He hopes that his message will be received and wish will be granted.

Gai finds him at the gate of Konaha and approaches him while Pakkun heads off in a timely fashion. Kakashi turns to Gai. “I hope this turns out to be a great break from all my paperwork and that nothing stressful happens, like being accidentally roped into paying a mortgage in a currency that I don’t understand” he tells his lifelong friend. Gai pats him on the arm and responds “That's an oddly specific worry Kakashi, do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” He laughs as Kakashi shakes his head.

Later that night at his house something triggers some of his security traps and he awakes in an instant kunai ready to defend himself against possible intruders. Standing in the doorway of his room is a pair of little tiny tanuki... with little matching polo shirts and adorable name tags that read Timmy and Tommy.

He puts his kunai away and is approached by the twin tanuki. “We heard you wanted to go on a vacation...vacation” he nods and stares at the tiny tanuki and wonders why they wear matching polo shirts. They give him an enthusiastic round of applause. “Well, any customers should make their way to the boarding gate to be able to receive their all inclusive package getaway!” He gets out of bed and pulls out the small bag he put together earlier that night. Feeling some pride in his prediction that something of this manner would happen was correct, he applauds himself for only needing to put on his trusted vest hanging on the far wall before being ready to go. He turns to the tanuki and realizes he has no idea what they’re talking about. “Where is this gate exactly?” He asks them.

The tanuki named Timmy then pulls out a suspiciously unbranded bag and hands it to Tommy. Tommy turns to the closet door with the bag and then opens it. Inside he pulls out a glass bottle that looks like it has a small rectangular orange card inside it. Kakashi eyes this suspiciously but doesn’t sense anything remarkable about the bottle. “The door is right over here...here” they gesture vaguely. “What do you mean-“ he’s cut off when the small tanuki abruptly throws the bottle, it smashes against the door and Kakashi feels the ground beneath him give a strong lurch. Suddenly there’s sounds of waves that should not be there, and beneath the closet door is a faint light present in the otherwise dark room. “Property damage aside your vacation package is now ready...ready!” Timmy and Tommy both turn and say unanimously.

Kakashi approaches his closet door and opens it carefully, behind it is a beautiful scenic vista of a generic tropical island. This looked like the vacation he had dreamed of! He is abruptly shoved through the door by the tanuki launching themselves at him and they yell “No refunds nor returns on all package deals okay... okay?” He blinks at them through the harsh sun incredulously. He gapes as the door seems to be getting smaller and farther away from him. “How do I get back??” He asks as they just wave back at him with silly flowers appearing above their heads.

While contemplating his options, all of a sudden he is swept away by bright green leaves that all suspiciously look the same and have absolutely no reason to be there on the beach. When the leaves clear, he finds himself sitting in front a fancy looking desk, that is out of place. It seemed to be a large camping tent with an intimidating figure sitting across him... it was Tom Nook!!

Tom Nook clears his throat obviously wanting his attention and starts to speak. “Now that you are here on your wonderful island vacation, we get to discuss the method of your repayment yes yes” Kakashi feels a looming dread creep up his arm. Tom nook continues “All fees boil down to the low low price of 1 million bells.” Kakashi prays to his old sensei for strength and says “I don't have any bells, I sent the ones I had as offerings for you to find.” Tom Nook has an alarmingly passive look on his face as if he expected the answer.

“No problem,” he says “I already know how you can pay it off!” He brings up a map of the vacant island and points to what appears to be the marker for a home. “Go to this location and you will find yourself lodging and a place for you to put your belongings, since you've officially become this islands resident representative!” Kakashi takes note of the size and borders of the island, as well as the direction he seems to need to go in. “I will find you when you have a job to do but until then enjoy the island!” Tom Nook says with an unreadable expression on his face. Without any room to intervene with questions, Kakashi once again finds himself surrounded by a storm of leaves.

The leaves leave him on the edge of the beach he presumes he started from and within view of the only structure around, so naturally, he approaches it. With a sigh, he walks up to it and contemplates the surprisingly nice door. He tries sensing if anything is inside before the very same door is abruptly thrown open in a flurry. Kakashi steps aside swiftly enough for him to witness a small angry looking child in a red cloak rush out in a very perturbed manner, who seemed to be yelling about something in frustration. The smaller figured is followed by a figure in a suit of armour who is waving their arms frantically to seemingly attempt to calm down the short angry cloaked child. Kakashi prays once again to Minato and also wishes Gai was with him.

“I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WE ENDED UP STUCK ON THIS SHITTY GARBAGE ISLAND TRAPPED BY SOME RACCOON THAT'S FORCING US TO CHOOSE CHINTZY PATTERNS FOR DECORATIVE CONVERSATION PIECES” the small short red clad child yells in one unbroken stream. Kakashi stares in shock.

The echoing voice of the one in the armour speaks up in retaliation while the gremlin angrily fights nothing. “We can always find a way out of here brother, but you need to calm down before we can do so! BROTHER PLEASE!!” They beg, while seemingly not helping dissipate the anger of the other. Kakashi continues to stare in shock.

Realizing neither of the two figures have noticed him, Kakashi shakes off his stupor and clears his throat. Both of them turn and look at him. “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!” The red screaming boy yells at him and readies a fighting stance while the armoured one does the same. Feeling like maybe the both of them were in a similar situation to himself, Kakashi collects himself before speaking. “I couldn’t help but overhear. You two seem to be stuck on this island,” he begins. Kakashi makes sure to keep his posture unassuming, hopefully to avoid conflict with the loud short youngster and his companion.

They stare as if for him to continue, so he does. “I seem to be in a similar situation myself. I also wish to leave this place, preferably sooner rather than later.” With those words, his audience shares a look with one another and lower their fists. “I was wondering if you could tell me anything you know about this place, since it seems you’ve been here for longer than I have,” he asks. The red one gives him a look of suspicion at the question.

“How do we know we can trust you? And that this isn't a ploy from the raccoon?!” He demands. The suit of armour facepalms. Kakashi blinks at the question and scratches his cheek. “For now I guess you could say you can’t really trust me, but we seem to have a mutual interest and I would rather have allies on this strange deserted island over enemies” he suggests. Contemplating the answer, gremlin boy crosses his arms and shifts his weight from foot to foot. “I guess you have a point FOR NOW”, he concedes, with an unconvincing look on his face. Kakashi sighs, getting the sinking feeling this won't be the vacation he had dreamed of.

“Well, at least you’re not trying to hurt us!” The armour says “And that’s better than nothing. I guess we’d better introduce ourselves for now, my name is Alphonse, but people just call me Al and this is my brother Edward” as he gestures to himself and his unimpressed brother. Taking their expectant looks in stride, he introduces himself as well, and they sit on the beach exchanging how they came to be on this island. He explains how he heard about the dreaded Tom Nook in his village and what he did to summon his services while they listen with faces that twist the more he speaks.

“So you're like an assassin??” Edward squints at him to seemingly have digested the information presented to him by Kakashi. “Maaa kind of? I guess you could say that, but I'm retired now...” he stares off into the distance wistfully. Al nods “That’s got to be a useful skill to have if our opponent is an all-powerful god of greed” he supplies. Ed grumbles something about ninjas being fake to himself and looks away. Kakashi changes the subject not wanting to be pestered too much and asks the two boys how they ended up in this predicament themselves. Ed lets out the most over dramatic sigh and rolls his eyes before staring an explanation for their presence on the island.

Al interjects at some points during his monologue and Kakashi gathers from their story that they were following directions from a man who may or may not be their father to find the answer to a problem they face back at home. “So how does this problem require the help from a god?” Kakashi questions when they finished talking. Ed looks down at his hands before taking off his right glove to reveal something shiny and metallic.

Kakashi’s eyes widen, as he realizes that the gleaming intricacy of machinery is in fact the boy’s hand. This explains why he could not sense any chakra coming from the limb. “I need to find a way to fix a mistake I made with my alchemy for both me and my brother” he says and nods at Al. “Well that’s definitely not the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, but I am intrigued about this alchemy that you can summon”, he says, hoping to diffuse the tense look on Ed’s face and in Al’s posture. It’s horribly difficult to get a read on the armoured fellow, since he hasn't taken off his helmet and also seems to not have chakra... but Kakashi can manage.

During the silence that follows, Kakashi looks out towards the sea. “It seems to be getting dark so we might as well turn in for the night. It also seems like this house has no traps placed within like you said, so why not rest inside?” he suggests. Making their way inside they sit on opposite ends of the single empty room. Al sits down upright against a wall, while Ed kicks off his boots and sits beside him. Another glint of metal confirms Kakashi’s theory about his left leg. Ed lies down and pulls his red cape over him and says “Who knows what will happen tomorrow” to no one in particular. Al responds with a ‘who knows’ of his own and lowers his head. Edward turns away and settles down for the night. Kakashi can feel Al’s eyes on him, as he puts down his travel bag against the opposing wall.

Then Kakashi takes out a small, sealed pack of paper tags and removes one from the bundle. He places it on the door, before putting a tiny amount of chakra within it, to alert him in case of enemies. He’s glad to find that he can also summon his ninken and keeps one, Akino, as additional security... or maybe its to have a familiar presence beside him. He hears soft snores from Edward, but still feels Al watching him, so he justifies his actions quietly “Since, who knows what with happen tomorrow” and he thinks he sees a nod from the moonlight glinting off Al’s helmet.

Kakashi sits against the wall facing the door and places his bag with other tools and things close beside him, because old shinobi habits die hard. His ninken sits beside him, as he prepares himself for a light rest and whatever he will have to face when tomorrow comes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading until the end, I don't know if there will ever be more but I hope you liked what this was!


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